My actual internal dialogue while sitting at the 2007 Spring English Department Banquet:
(taking it all in) ... omg, MRG's hair is sooo cute! i should get eileen to cut my hair. god, i love it. that little hottie ...who's that? ... look at all those smarmy grad students ... smarmy, smarmy, smarmy ... ok, i'm taking this table. hey, SW's all glammed up tonight ...
(looking over at Katy and Mike's table) ha! poor Katy. wait, poor Mike!
(turning over program emblazoned with rainbow on the front) who let SW design the cover this year? is this supposed to be some sort of commentary? i really like the term "hasbian" ... also, LUG, lesbian until graduation. i thought that was going to be me ... damn Bridget ... she looks pretty cute tonight ... god, can we eat yet? i'm starving!
(getting up to get in line for buffet) my control-top underwear is working tonight, ya'll! he-eyy ... ooh, here's the chocolate cake i've heard so much about ... banana cream pie/chocolate cake ... banana cream pie/chocolate cake ... i'll go with the chocolate cake ...
(immediately after taking last bite) i should just leave now. oh, wait. courtney's reading. and then phil. and then annie. looks like i'm here for the night ...
(as students are going up for their awards) god, what is her deal? is she having a seizure? ... oh. that's a big surprise ... whoa, he looks totally different with no beard--i think he should grow the beard back ... oh, good for him! seriously, what the hell is she staring at? ...
(bopping a little in my chair) she was a fast machine, she kept her motor clean, she was the best damn woman that i ever seen ...
(eating chocolate cake crumbs) you know, this chocolate cake isn't as orgasmic as i was led to believe ...
(watching more people) ugh, i totally remember now why i hated my first year here ... i kinda want to go to Dairy Queen. no! bad! ... what is up with these chairs? ... don't make eye contact, don't make eye contact, don't make eye contact ... hee hee, BB's pants are always belted so low! ...
(clapping at the end) they probably could have said something about me ... i wanna go play wii at annie and marcia's ...
Monday, April 30, 2007
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Give Me Something To Believe In
If it were not for Poison, I am not sure how I would get through my days...
My Uncle Ben's teriyaki flavored Ready Rice is stiff as a concrete block. No amount of tender squeezing from these big hands will make my rice come undone.
I had an Uncle Ben once and he was a good, good man. He was my great uncle and we called him Bennie and when my mom met him when she was just a little girl, she thought he was a movie star. He was that handsome.
I would like to see the sun. Soon. I want browned skin and light hair and freckles and I need the sun to have all that. I love summer. If I were 15, I'd be out in the field, waiting for my dad to come around with the hopper full. Summers remind me of my little cousins. I want my aunt to send Trevor and Tucker my way for the summer and we'll do Little League and the pool and bike rides and Dairy Queen. God, that would just about be perfect.
Lately, I've been finding that I need people, that I need to be surrounded by music and friends and kids.
Right now, I would about do anything not to grade character sketches. I would straighten my desk, check my e-mail 56 more times, browse ebay, screw my office hours and run to Gordman's and Target and Zandbroz's, put lots of frivalous items, like lipstick and candles, on my credit card.
Thanks to Katy, Mama Cass is singing me a lullaby. This will not help me grade any faster, but it has put me in a sweeter mood.
And give me something to believe in,
if there's a Lord above.
My Uncle Ben's teriyaki flavored Ready Rice is stiff as a concrete block. No amount of tender squeezing from these big hands will make my rice come undone.
I had an Uncle Ben once and he was a good, good man. He was my great uncle and we called him Bennie and when my mom met him when she was just a little girl, she thought he was a movie star. He was that handsome.
I would like to see the sun. Soon. I want browned skin and light hair and freckles and I need the sun to have all that. I love summer. If I were 15, I'd be out in the field, waiting for my dad to come around with the hopper full. Summers remind me of my little cousins. I want my aunt to send Trevor and Tucker my way for the summer and we'll do Little League and the pool and bike rides and Dairy Queen. God, that would just about be perfect.
Lately, I've been finding that I need people, that I need to be surrounded by music and friends and kids.
Right now, I would about do anything not to grade character sketches. I would straighten my desk, check my e-mail 56 more times, browse ebay, screw my office hours and run to Gordman's and Target and Zandbroz's, put lots of frivalous items, like lipstick and candles, on my credit card.
Thanks to Katy, Mama Cass is singing me a lullaby. This will not help me grade any faster, but it has put me in a sweeter mood.
And give me something to believe in,
if there's a Lord above.
Monday, April 23, 2007
Because Class Begins in 10 Minutes...
Humor me, people.
| You are Bettie Page |
 Girl next door with a wild streak You're a famous beauty - with unique look And the people like you are cultish about it |
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
share the road
I like to go biking after dark. The roads are quiet, save for the jingle of dog tags every few blocks.
Tonight was still, and gorgeous. I ended up all over. Dirt paths, downtown, through parks, campus.
Did you see the moon?
It is just a sliver.
Go look at it.
Tonight was still, and gorgeous. I ended up all over. Dirt paths, downtown, through parks, campus.
Did you see the moon?
It is just a sliver.
Go look at it.
Monday, April 16, 2007
Coupla Things
1. Them other boys don't know how to act.
2. A 40 ft. camper pulling an SUV? No wonder everyone hates us.
3. I work at 2205 Career Avenue. Yeah-uh.
4. Some hedonist brought in Girl Scout Cookies and left them in the little nook that is directly across from my office. I have a tummy ache. We'll leave it at that.
5. I blogged too soon. Here is the wackiest comment I wrote on an essay: "Your mother is not a scholarly source." Which is weird, because I usually like to tell people what their moms are/do/said.
2. A 40 ft. camper pulling an SUV? No wonder everyone hates us.
3. I work at 2205 Career Avenue. Yeah-uh.
4. Some hedonist brought in Girl Scout Cookies and left them in the little nook that is directly across from my office. I have a tummy ache. We'll leave it at that.
5. I blogged too soon. Here is the wackiest comment I wrote on an essay: "Your mother is not a scholarly source." Which is weird, because I usually like to tell people what their moms are/do/said.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
For Those of You about to Rock, I Salute You
Best. Weekend. Ever.
Small, intimate get-togethers, walks to the river, bike rides, sun and sky, dancing all night, badminton in the backyard, yardwork.
Lots of fun this weekend.
I have been grading research portfolios all day:
Sundays at the Office are sooo hard.
Here are the comments I have been writing most often all over my student's essays. And, in italics, is what I would like to write:
"Awkward and confusing. What are you trying to say?
I know English is your first language. I am certain of it.
"OK, so what does the sexual maturation of girls in Puerto Rico have to do with your topic concerning the cattle industry in America?"
WTF??
"Proofread, please."
I think, perhaps, you are dyslexic.
"Covering JFK's childhood, political career, and the conspiracy theories surrounding his assassination is too much for a six page paper."
I think we should probably go to the CIA with your ground-breaking investigation here.
"Unpack this quotation. What are the implications of this?"
I would like to see your high school diploma. I need proof.
"Avoid "you." You should not still be making this mistake."
Why do you hate me? Do we not have fun in class?
"Please look at p. 234 in your Harbrace for more guidance on a works cited page. Also, we have built a works cited page numeous times in class and in your conference."
For the love of God, learn how to do a freakin' Works Cited page!
"Introduce this source. Remember that handout I passed out in class, put up on the overhead, read outloud, and we all talked about it for at least an hour? Look at that. It will help you."
I should have early alerted your ass.
Really, though, it's not so bad. True, I've been a little disappointed by the papers, but I get it. It's their first real crack at a research paper, and most of them have been out of school for awhile, so we'll keep hacking away at it.
Three. More. Weeks. I can see the light, Lord, I can see the light.
And finally, here is my latest, greatest purchase:
My new bike. Because I love my new bike so very much.
Small, intimate get-togethers, walks to the river, bike rides, sun and sky, dancing all night, badminton in the backyard, yardwork.
Lots of fun this weekend.
I have been grading research portfolios all day:
Here are the comments I have been writing most often all over my student's essays. And, in italics, is what I would like to write:
"Awkward and confusing. What are you trying to say?
I know English is your first language. I am certain of it.
"OK, so what does the sexual maturation of girls in Puerto Rico have to do with your topic concerning the cattle industry in America?"
WTF??
"Proofread, please."
I think, perhaps, you are dyslexic.
"Covering JFK's childhood, political career, and the conspiracy theories surrounding his assassination is too much for a six page paper."
I think we should probably go to the CIA with your ground-breaking investigation here.
"Unpack this quotation. What are the implications of this?"
I would like to see your high school diploma. I need proof.
"Avoid "you." You should not still be making this mistake."
Why do you hate me? Do we not have fun in class?
"Please look at p. 234 in your Harbrace for more guidance on a works cited page. Also, we have built a works cited page numeous times in class and in your conference."
For the love of God, learn how to do a freakin' Works Cited page!
"Introduce this source. Remember that handout I passed out in class, put up on the overhead, read outloud, and we all talked about it for at least an hour? Look at that. It will help you."
I should have early alerted your ass.
Really, though, it's not so bad. True, I've been a little disappointed by the papers, but I get it. It's their first real crack at a research paper, and most of them have been out of school for awhile, so we'll keep hacking away at it.
Three. More. Weeks. I can see the light, Lord, I can see the light.
And finally, here is my latest, greatest purchase:
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
This is Home
Pictures from the farm.
It was 11 degrees and snowed all weekend.
I love this place.
The Road Home.
My House!
The view from the back deck.
The Bunkhouse. When I was in college & brought my friends home, I would pull up to the bunkhouse & say, "Well, this is it!"
My damn dog, Rufus, & my little cousin Tucker. A few days before we all got home, Rufus decided to play with some dead carp he found in the crick. Rufus did NOT smell good. We kept our distance and Rufus was so sad. But, as my mom said, "Rufus made his choices." "What are choices?" Rufus would probably ask. Still, Tuck & I took our chances.
Section Line.
Because my father likes these folksy accents.
My Grandpa Obach's old shop.
Farmer Casey.
The crick.
My God. Beautiful.
My favorite part.
It was 11 degrees and snowed all weekend.
I love this place.
Monday, April 09, 2007
Easter Bash 2007!
Good Friday Mass: 1 hour, 23 minutes.
Easter Vigil (Super Saturday) Mass: 2 hours, 29 minutes.
Who We Prayed For: Everyone and their dog.
Miles from my front door in Vtown to my farm front door: 607.9.
Here is a glimpse into what Easter is like with my family.
Dying Easter Eggs with Trevor, aka Spider Monkey, Lloyd Christmas, Trapper John, Rovert, Poster Child for Birth Control #1, My Best Friend.
Dying Easter Eggs with Tucker, aka Old Man Tucker, The Marshall Tucker Band, Captain Obvious, Poster Child for Birth Control #2, My Best Friend.
One of 34 dozen eggs that Tucker made for himself.
Easter Dinner at Grandma Flo's!
Aunt Betsy, sister Randy, bro-in-law Casey, and cousin Trev in the kitchen.
Charlie Brown and Ollie looking for a free handout.
Enough said.
A highly competitive game of Tribond.
Best Moment of Easter 2007:
*My Aunt Betsy budding me in the communion line and taking the last of the wine. And me trying not to crack up all the way back to my pew.
Best Exchange between Casey and Betsy:
Betsy: "I just hate anything minty tasting."
Casey: "Um, don't you bum Kools all the time?"
I heart my family.
Stay tuned for more pics from the farm!
Easter Vigil (Super Saturday) Mass: 2 hours, 29 minutes.
Who We Prayed For: Everyone and their dog.
Miles from my front door in Vtown to my farm front door: 607.9.
Here is a glimpse into what Easter is like with my family.
Best Moment of Easter 2007:
*My Aunt Betsy budding me in the communion line and taking the last of the wine. And me trying not to crack up all the way back to my pew.
Best Exchange between Casey and Betsy:
Betsy: "I just hate anything minty tasting."
Casey: "Um, don't you bum Kools all the time?"
I heart my family.
Stay tuned for more pics from the farm!
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
We're Dialoguing
On Mondays, I get home late from teaching. Usually right around 10:45 pm. Last night, when I got home, Bridge had a beer and Pad Thai waiting for me. What a lovely, lovely woman. Here is part of our wacky conversation from last night.
Lights up on the living room. ME is sitting on the couch, reading over B's shoulder as B is going over a powerpoint from her biology lecture.
ME: What is this? This isn't even English. What's deleterious?
B: Things that are detrimental to a society as whole..things that don't let you perform for optimal survival.
Me: Like this! (ME holds up clamato beer and takes a long swig.)
B: No. Things that are in your genetic code.
ME: Exactly. Like beer. What's an allele?
B: An allele--
ME: Is it like a tapeworm that lives in your stomach?
B: Yes. And it's 8 feet long.
ME: You're lying!
B: No, like say you have sickle-cell anemia--
ME: That's what you have!
B: No, I don't. OK, so you have two little a's, you're a definite carrier (B draws out big A's and little a's) And these are homozy-
ME: Homo what? Ohh yeah ... (ME makes dance club sounds.)
B: Homozygous and these (B points to big A,little a) are heterozygous.
ME: (ME abruptly stops making techno sounds) Oh! Like a punnet square. Like Gregory Mendel and his peas.
B: Yes.
A few moments later.
ME: (Kissing B's forehead, whispering) Homozygous?
B: Yes.
ME: Your mom is an allele.
B: She is.
(Scene.)
Lights up on the living room. ME is sitting on the couch, reading over B's shoulder as B is going over a powerpoint from her biology lecture.
ME: What is this? This isn't even English. What's deleterious?
B: Things that are detrimental to a society as whole..things that don't let you perform for optimal survival.
Me: Like this! (ME holds up clamato beer and takes a long swig.)
B: No. Things that are in your genetic code.
ME: Exactly. Like beer. What's an allele?
B: An allele--
ME: Is it like a tapeworm that lives in your stomach?
B: Yes. And it's 8 feet long.
ME: You're lying!
B: No, like say you have sickle-cell anemia--
ME: That's what you have!
B: No, I don't. OK, so you have two little a's, you're a definite carrier (B draws out big A's and little a's) And these are homozy-
ME: Homo what? Ohh yeah ... (ME makes dance club sounds.)
B: Homozygous and these (B points to big A,little a) are heterozygous.
ME: (ME abruptly stops making techno sounds) Oh! Like a punnet square. Like Gregory Mendel and his peas.
B: Yes.
A few moments later.
ME: (Kissing B's forehead, whispering) Homozygous?
B: Yes.
ME: Your mom is an allele.
B: She is.
(Scene.)
Sunday, April 01, 2007
I Saw the Light, Lord, I Saw the Light
So, Palm Sunday mass would have been unbearable had I not sat behind Tommy, the coolest 3 year old I know. Today, Tommy's mop of sandy blond hair was cowlicked everywhere and he had on an all-blue outfit. He's always up to something and he kept me entertained throughout the Passion Play (think JC Superstar minus the catchy songs and flaming King Herod). I heart Tommy.
All in all, I had an amazing weekend. On Friday, I got to listen to the whole damn band. Miller Lite with green olives coupled with thumping old timey gospel? Um, heaven.
On Saturday, I dragged AH to Yankton with me to rummage through fab antique stores (ok, not really dragged; in fact, I knew she would totally want to go). I love antiquing in Yankton. I love old things--green and blue tinted bottles, kitschy salt and pepper shakers, rusted license plates. Yes sir. Love it. It's like my eyes weren't even big enough to take in the miles of antiques. We probably could have spent days turning over pottery and glass vases, but they closed at 5.
When I got home on Saturday, my house was cold and lonely so I cleaned like a madwoman. Then, I was in clean, cold, and lonely house. Anarcia invited me over and after a half glass of white wine, I wrapped myself up in a blanket and slept there all night long. They took pity on me. Thanks, Anarcia.
After church today, I helped Berkowitz and other Vtown hippies start buillding the community garden. We dug up topsoil and built garden plots all afternoon. It was totally rockin AND I got to get my gear on. You know I love me some gear. The commnunity garden is behind the WAC VAC, so go check it out. It is really taking shape today and I'm totally pumped to work more on it. My delts are gonna be huge, man. Well, that's what my bro-han thinks happens everytime I pick up a shovel.
And, now, headlights just swept through the living room, which means only one thing:
The Bridge is Back.
Yay!
All in all, I had an amazing weekend. On Friday, I got to listen to the whole damn band. Miller Lite with green olives coupled with thumping old timey gospel? Um, heaven.
On Saturday, I dragged AH to Yankton with me to rummage through fab antique stores (ok, not really dragged; in fact, I knew she would totally want to go). I love antiquing in Yankton. I love old things--green and blue tinted bottles, kitschy salt and pepper shakers, rusted license plates. Yes sir. Love it. It's like my eyes weren't even big enough to take in the miles of antiques. We probably could have spent days turning over pottery and glass vases, but they closed at 5.
When I got home on Saturday, my house was cold and lonely so I cleaned like a madwoman. Then, I was in clean, cold, and lonely house. Anarcia invited me over and after a half glass of white wine, I wrapped myself up in a blanket and slept there all night long. They took pity on me. Thanks, Anarcia.
After church today, I helped Berkowitz and other Vtown hippies start buillding the community garden. We dug up topsoil and built garden plots all afternoon. It was totally rockin AND I got to get my gear on. You know I love me some gear. The commnunity garden is behind the WAC VAC, so go check it out. It is really taking shape today and I'm totally pumped to work more on it. My delts are gonna be huge, man. Well, that's what my bro-han thinks happens everytime I pick up a shovel.
And, now, headlights just swept through the living room, which means only one thing:
The Bridge is Back.
Yay!
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