You Better Think (Think)

This week has been a quiet one. B has been gone since last Thursday. Before that, I was gone for nearly 3 weeks. July has been a bit lonesome. I probably shouldn't have subjected myself to Ricky Nelson's "Lonesome Town" all week, but eh, what are you gonna do? I realized that on Sunday, the only words I said to 4 other adults were "hello" and "peace be with you." From 11 am on, I was silent. I think it's been ok. The dialogue constantly running in my head keeps me company.

In all this silence, I've been thinking about so much lately; mainly, I've been thinking about my family at home and how I want to merge them with this family I've created with Bridget and her immediate family. I have to tell my parents, hell, tell everyone. I have to, have to, have to. I do believe it's evident when I go home how happy I am: nice place to live, a wonderful job, local success as a poet, fantastic friends, a supportive chair and department. I just need to tell them. I want them to know that I'm a catch, damn it, and that I've caught a catch. It's just, how do I say it? Am I ready to see the disappointment/disgust in their faces? Probably not. Then again, what child is? So, just why the hell not just do it? Sometimes I wish I had a family who hated each other, who never talked, and who couldn't care less about each other's lives. A family who didn't spend every holiday or weekend mashed together.

So, ok, clearly, I don't really wish that. I'm always just looking for the easy way out.

2 summers ago, Bridget bought me a silver band at a funky downtown store, and I was always worried about what she thought it meant. I was very adamant about the ring only meaning that I was her "fun, sexy girlfriend" and she got me a "fun, sexy girlfriend ring." The ring is one of the first things I put on each morning and the last thing I take off each night. This beat up, scuffed, scratched, loose band has turned into much more. I'm getting older, more financially secure each month, Iowa is only 30 miles away ... everyone's having babies, and I think I want in on that action, too.

Ugh. And, after all this, I still have a lot to think about. Ugh. Aren't you tired of me thinking things to death? Elvis was right, "a little less conversation, lot more action."

My flight to Colorado leaves tomorrow morning. I'll get to see my girl and get out of head and get into the mountains. I think that will be pretty good.

Home again

I brought home farm eggs from my time spent in North Dakota, and this morning, I whipped two up with dill fresh from my herb garden in the backyard and some feta that Bridge always makes sure we have.

Delicious. I never ate a store bought egg for the first 18 years of my life, and the first time I had one, it was disappointing.

At the farmer's market yesterday, I scored with some lettuce, zucchini, and cucumbers. I have a big bowl of fresh lettuce in the fridge with chopped dill, and life is good. Summer is good.

NoDak was nice. Aside from the tornadoes, things were relaxing. It's wonderful to be home, again, though Bridge just left for Utah so she can show everyone how revolutionary her study of plants is. I'm going to meet her out in Colorado late next week, and we are going to spend a few days in Rocky Mountain National Park. She found some great trails that I can't wait to hit. Just a few days outside with the mountains and the girl before the whirlwind rush of the school year starts again.

Last night at Eagles karaoke, we met a girl who is:
a cage fighter
a roller derby grrl
waaayyyyy too rough

Good God.

I'm off to swim now. Then to sit on the warm concrete with my latest, greatest book. I love being back home.

Headed Home...

... and looking forward to it.

Gonna hang with the fam, the friends, the farmers, and the Ukrainians.

See you laters, gators.