I probably think this post is about me.
Don't I?
I won't deny that Mama (that's me; sometimes I like to call myself "Mama") likes to look good. However, I don't spend that much time on my appearance, which isn't to say that I don't put in effort. I do it all: the waxing, the shaving, the curling, the pedicures, the control top underwear. I do it for myself; I also do it for others. Each day, I stand up in front of an average of 40 people. I don't need to give these people (or "students" as they are called around here) another reason to judge me. Oh, I know they will anyway, but I figure if I am having a good hair day, that certainly can't hurt.
Anywho. Back to my vanity.
I have this personal theory about beauty: if you have shown me you are a warm, caring, intelligent, and thoughtful person, you are gorgeous. If you are mean, cruel, uncaring, and thoughtless, then you look like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit evey branch on the way down. I mean, yeah, I don't think I am hideous. Clearly, some people like the way I look. I also don't think I am a knockout -- I want these last 16 lbs. gone, I want this jawline softened, I want the dark circles beneath my eyes to go away. But, for the last few years, I have been fairly confident about my looks. I learned how to dress my body. I can pull off chunky necklaces. I have a complex and detailed oral hygiene routine. My legs are pretty strong, and I like the way my neck looks. I also have shiny hair, but that's just good genes.
This weekend, I had an allergic reaction to something. Maybe wool, though I read that true wool allergies are quite rare. Maybe seafood, but does fake crab, or Krab, count? At any rate, my skin reacted. All of a sudden, I had hives all over my body and face. While the body stuff drove me nuts and was uncomfortable, I could, at least, slather on steriod lotion and wear long sleeves. My face, however? That's a different story. For the first time in a loo-oo-oo--ng time, I was really embarassed about how my skin looked. It was splotchy and red and hivey. Plus, I had to teach on Monday looking like this. I only had to give a midterm, but a few students wanted further clarification on some assignments, and when they came up and sat down with me, I just felt really vulnerable. I realized that I am, indeed, a lot more vain than I had thought. My skin is finally settling down, and my face looks better, but it's been a yicky week.
I'm not sure what this revelation will do to me; however, I am quite sure I will never take a good, clear skin day for granted again. I'm also sure I won't buy any more super cute clearanced-out coats from Old Navy.
