| Your IQ Is 105 |
 Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius Your Mathematical Intelligence is Average Your General Knowledge is Exceptional |
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Depressing IQ Test
I just took this stupid IQ test. Now I am depressed, but not surprised ...
Monday, December 04, 2006
By the Number
1. One Love. I have a crush on everyone I work with. We have a ridiculous amount of inappropriate fun.
2. Hugh Jackman/Wolverine can wear a wife-beater and a sweatshirt jacket like nobody else. Grrr ...
3. Day three in the new house. I'm so in love with our living room, kitchen, and bathroom it's not even funny.
4. I may (!) get health insurance next semester. And teach four sections of various English classes.
5. Five living plants in our house. Keep 'em coming.
6. Six(teen) wine coolers A. and M. brought over for soup and bread last night. Talk about pure class!
7. 204 books in my living room. Heaven.
8. The number of Chinese words I was taught today by Chih-Mei, one of my international students: Ni-how. Hello ...
9. Drive by the house on the Nine(teenth). If the lights are on, come in and sit with me on my new couch.
2. Hugh Jackman/Wolverine can wear a wife-beater and a sweatshirt jacket like nobody else. Grrr ...
3. Day three in the new house. I'm so in love with our living room, kitchen, and bathroom it's not even funny.
4. I may (!) get health insurance next semester. And teach four sections of various English classes.
5. Five living plants in our house. Keep 'em coming.
6. Six(teen) wine coolers A. and M. brought over for soup and bread last night. Talk about pure class!
7. 204 books in my living room. Heaven.
8. The number of Chinese words I was taught today by Chih-Mei, one of my international students: Ni-how. Hello ...
9. Drive by the house on the Nine(teenth). If the lights are on, come in and sit with me on my new couch.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
New Fangled Inventions
My sister just called me laughing her head off.
Over Thanksgiving, I changed the message on my folks' answering machine.
Here is what I recorded:
"Hello, you have reached the Obach farm, no one is around right now, but THAT DOES NOT MEAN YOU CAN STEAL OUR GAS! Please leave a message."
(We have a gas tank on our farm, and my dad always thinks someone is going to syphon all our gas away. He has recently put a huge linked chain around the tank).
And then it was time to go back to Vermillion. I never changed the message.
My mother just called my sister to ask her how to change the message and my dad's yelling in the background, "No one will leave a message now because of you two idiots!"
If you do not know how to change the message on the answering machine you own, then you should not purchase said machine.
I bet that message will be on there until I go home for Christmas.
Over Thanksgiving, I changed the message on my folks' answering machine.
Here is what I recorded:
"Hello, you have reached the Obach farm, no one is around right now, but THAT DOES NOT MEAN YOU CAN STEAL OUR GAS! Please leave a message."
(We have a gas tank on our farm, and my dad always thinks someone is going to syphon all our gas away. He has recently put a huge linked chain around the tank).
And then it was time to go back to Vermillion. I never changed the message.
My mother just called my sister to ask her how to change the message and my dad's yelling in the background, "No one will leave a message now because of you two idiots!"
If you do not know how to change the message on the answering machine you own, then you should not purchase said machine.
I bet that message will be on there until I go home for Christmas.
Monday, November 27, 2006
Play Me Some Mountain Music ...
... like Grandma and Grandpa used to play!
I went home for Thanksgiving, home to the southwestern corner of North Dakota. Right on the edge of the Badlands, and right on the edge of normalcy. Pick your poison, people.
Thanksgiving with my family is always fun. We eat a lot. And drink a lot. And play highly competitive games of "Trivial Pursuit" or "Catchphrase." My team got smoked this year. Not cool.
On Thursday evening, after we had eaten (and gone back for round two and three), one of my aunts was talking about the real estate business (she's a realtor), and she said the phrase "jew me down." SMACK. That was me slapping my forehead.
I brought my friend Alex home for Thanksgiving. She's from New York. She's an Americorp volunteer. She was in the living room listening to my aunt. She's Jewish. SMACK.
Then Alex and I tried to watch "Grey's Anatomy" while my retarded cousins jumped on our backs and threw footballs at us (in my grandmother's house, by the way). After the show, my brother-in-law decided announced he was going to the kitchen to mix a new drink. He called it the "McDreamy." The McDreamy consisted of apple cider, peach-flavored Sunny D, Mountain Dew, and Karkov vodka. The McDreamy is fabulous. My grandma bought a 16 gallon jug of vodka especially for Thanksgiving (though she's usually a whiskey/coke gal). We drank lots of McDreamies. Yum ...
So, that was Thanksgiving. On Friday night, my sister and I called up another friend who was home and we all hit the hip town of Dickinson. Army's West bar has the hottest (and only) dance floor in town, so of course, we were there.
Here is a sampling of t-shirts worn by men and women at Army's:
"Life is hard. Hump harder."
"Hi. You'll do."
"Chocolate, coffee, and cowboys. Somethings are just better rich."
You can take the girl out of the country ...
I went home for Thanksgiving, home to the southwestern corner of North Dakota. Right on the edge of the Badlands, and right on the edge of normalcy. Pick your poison, people.
Thanksgiving with my family is always fun. We eat a lot. And drink a lot. And play highly competitive games of "Trivial Pursuit" or "Catchphrase." My team got smoked this year. Not cool.
On Thursday evening, after we had eaten (and gone back for round two and three), one of my aunts was talking about the real estate business (she's a realtor), and she said the phrase "jew me down." SMACK. That was me slapping my forehead.
I brought my friend Alex home for Thanksgiving. She's from New York. She's an Americorp volunteer. She was in the living room listening to my aunt. She's Jewish. SMACK.
Then Alex and I tried to watch "Grey's Anatomy" while my retarded cousins jumped on our backs and threw footballs at us (in my grandmother's house, by the way). After the show, my brother-in-law decided announced he was going to the kitchen to mix a new drink. He called it the "McDreamy." The McDreamy consisted of apple cider, peach-flavored Sunny D, Mountain Dew, and Karkov vodka. The McDreamy is fabulous. My grandma bought a 16 gallon jug of vodka especially for Thanksgiving (though she's usually a whiskey/coke gal). We drank lots of McDreamies. Yum ...
So, that was Thanksgiving. On Friday night, my sister and I called up another friend who was home and we all hit the hip town of Dickinson. Army's West bar has the hottest (and only) dance floor in town, so of course, we were there.
Here is a sampling of t-shirts worn by men and women at Army's:
"Life is hard. Hump harder."
"Hi. You'll do."
"Chocolate, coffee, and cowboys. Somethings are just better rich."
You can take the girl out of the country ...
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Nate
Cpl. Nathan Goodiron, a North Dakota Army National Guard member, was killed on Thanksgiving.
Nate was serving his country in Afghanistan when a grenade hit his vehicle. He took the full impact of the weapon and was killed instantly. Nate was 25.
I knew Nate when he was 18, when we were both freshmen at Minot State. He let me say "enit" when I talked to him. He gave me my Indian name, "yellow spot in the snow." I protested and thought "swift as the stars" sounded better, but he was sure his name for me was the one. We would spend hours on MSN Instant Messenger laughing at each other's written accents.
Nate was everything wrapped into one--smart, funny, easy-going, sarcastic, loving, handsome, silly. He wore big diamond stud earrings and wire-rimmed glasses. One November, when we were both 20 and drunk, we spent the night kissing in my bedroom. All of our friends thought we'd be perfect together, but we never thought so. He was my friend. One of my most favorite people I have ever met.
When I first met Nate, I lived on the 4th floor of Cook Hall in Minot, North Dakota. He would come to our dorm to visit his cousin, one of my best friends, and we spent hours together.
When Nate died, he had a wife and a son.
War has taken so much from us.
Nate was serving his country in Afghanistan when a grenade hit his vehicle. He took the full impact of the weapon and was killed instantly. Nate was 25.
I knew Nate when he was 18, when we were both freshmen at Minot State. He let me say "enit" when I talked to him. He gave me my Indian name, "yellow spot in the snow." I protested and thought "swift as the stars" sounded better, but he was sure his name for me was the one. We would spend hours on MSN Instant Messenger laughing at each other's written accents.
Nate was everything wrapped into one--smart, funny, easy-going, sarcastic, loving, handsome, silly. He wore big diamond stud earrings and wire-rimmed glasses. One November, when we were both 20 and drunk, we spent the night kissing in my bedroom. All of our friends thought we'd be perfect together, but we never thought so. He was my friend. One of my most favorite people I have ever met.
When I first met Nate, I lived on the 4th floor of Cook Hall in Minot, North Dakota. He would come to our dorm to visit his cousin, one of my best friends, and we spent hours together.
When Nate died, he had a wife and a son.
War has taken so much from us.
Monday, November 20, 2006
Freewrite
My Dear,
Hanging pictures of coffee mugs up in the new kitchen.
I know the one who painted these.
It's almost complete now, and Bobby Darin sings
In the background, smooth voice warms
Through the scratches of the needle.
It's a balmy night, almost.
I watched you all evening, thinking of this new life
we might get to have.
Rooms full of books and music and palm trees
and it's almost complete now.
I went out and bought plants tonight; I couldn't help it.
The green makes the house look like home.
From the unraked backyard, I can see into the kitchen,
and I can tell it's a good kitchen.
Soft glow, glass bottles, a wine rack half full.
An entire cupboard dedicated to baking.
The refrigerator is stuck full of pictures and postcards and magnets
from all over this country.
I wrote silly things on the grocery list and waited
until you noticed and laughed.
It's late now.
Close to midnight and I am still not used
to staying up this late, though it's been nearly two years.
The brick leading to the front door is being thrust up
by earth and moss, but I do not want to fix it.
It feels a little wild, a little untamed, beneath my shoes.
Will the tulips come up in the Spring?
I'm afraid I did not plant them deep enough.
The way you brush my face as you pass may be deep
enough to coax the bulbs into long slivers of green leaf
and bright vases of red, of purple, of deep blue.
It's late. Come give me your hand, the night is warm.
Though I am ready for the first night and the first snow,
I would like to press my lips to the white hollow
of your wrist and think that I still taste summer.
Hanging pictures of coffee mugs up in the new kitchen.
I know the one who painted these.
It's almost complete now, and Bobby Darin sings
In the background, smooth voice warms
Through the scratches of the needle.
It's a balmy night, almost.
I watched you all evening, thinking of this new life
we might get to have.
Rooms full of books and music and palm trees
and it's almost complete now.
I went out and bought plants tonight; I couldn't help it.
The green makes the house look like home.
From the unraked backyard, I can see into the kitchen,
and I can tell it's a good kitchen.
Soft glow, glass bottles, a wine rack half full.
An entire cupboard dedicated to baking.
The refrigerator is stuck full of pictures and postcards and magnets
from all over this country.
I wrote silly things on the grocery list and waited
until you noticed and laughed.
It's late now.
Close to midnight and I am still not used
to staying up this late, though it's been nearly two years.
The brick leading to the front door is being thrust up
by earth and moss, but I do not want to fix it.
It feels a little wild, a little untamed, beneath my shoes.
Will the tulips come up in the Spring?
I'm afraid I did not plant them deep enough.
The way you brush my face as you pass may be deep
enough to coax the bulbs into long slivers of green leaf
and bright vases of red, of purple, of deep blue.
It's late. Come give me your hand, the night is warm.
Though I am ready for the first night and the first snow,
I would like to press my lips to the white hollow
of your wrist and think that I still taste summer.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Smack dat ...
I have that song in my head. "Smack that ____ all on the floor" Smack dat _____ (something) wantin more" Love it! (I'm not 100%, but I think they are saying ass. Naughty).
I constantly have a song in my head. If it's not Kelly Clarkson (what? why?) then it's Britney Spears (I don't even understand). If it ain't those two lovely songbirds, it's freakin' Nickelback for God's sake. Ugh. Shoot me. And, sometimes, if I am lucky, it's "Fancy." You know you love it.
I just ate (ate, not chewed) seven pieces of double bubble. I don't know what came over me.
Anyone who is reading this, what song are you singing in your head right now?
I constantly have a song in my head. If it's not Kelly Clarkson (what? why?) then it's Britney Spears (I don't even understand). If it ain't those two lovely songbirds, it's freakin' Nickelback for God's sake. Ugh. Shoot me. And, sometimes, if I am lucky, it's "Fancy." You know you love it.
I just ate (ate, not chewed) seven pieces of double bubble. I don't know what came over me.
Anyone who is reading this, what song are you singing in your head right now?
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