Just my Imagination ...

... runnin' away with me.

Snow this morning. Unexpected (I don't so much watch the news), but nice. I tried shoveling for a few minutes, but gave up soon after I realized the strips of driveway I scraped clean were dusted again with new snow every time I turned my back.

Sneaky snow.

I've been curled with a down throw all afternoon, watching "Arrested Development" and now, "The Simpsons." I can't decide between the couch, the carpet, the couch. One disturbing realization: Homer Simpson and I share many of the same qualities.

I took a shower in the dark today and it made everything more.

I like the snow. Very much I like it. The squirrels running around like they don't know what the hell is happening, seeing sudden bursts of breath from dogwalkers passing my window, the fogged, purpled sky. My brother, sister, and I used to jump out of the barn into big piles of snowdrift--we'd get a running start and then land so hard we'd get stuck, up to our chests, in snow. My brother would usually wiggle out first and then come save Randy and me. Over and over, all day, this pounding over warped floorboards and then for two seconds, flying. On good snow days, we'd call the neighbors and meet them at Suicide Hill (really, we had a suicide hill) for sledding. My Dad would pump up a huge, old inner tube and we'd all climb in and slide down this hill at a gazillion miles an hour and crash at the bottom, covered in snow and cockleburrs. Pure fun.

Tomorrow may be a good day for sledding. Where do people sled in Vermillion? Down by the bluff? There's no water tower hills here--what do you do?

I start teaching on Tuesday. I've never been on the campus, have no idea where my office will be, don't know how to get a fleet vehicle, am not sure if my syllabi have been copied, can't pronounce some of the names on my class rosters, have no idea how to fill three, consecutive class hours, haven't received my desk copy for my 201 class yet, and Monday is a holiday.

In other words, I am much more prepared for this semester than I was for the Fall.

Happy New Year! (Again!)

Ooh, Ah, Just a Little Bit ...

I'm a little gangsta.

You probably can't tell by looking at me. I am clearly from Eastern-European peasant stock and my North Dakotan accent is pretty thick at times. Also, my fave TV show is "The Golden Girls" and I really like flavored waters. I do not think this makes me appear very street.

Still, I am pretty hardcore. My friend Al Fish told me recently I looked like a "street-tough Belinda Carlisle" and I'm not sure if that's a compliment, but I'll take what I can get. I've had "Circle in the Sand" in my head ever since (and round and round).

Back to me being gangsta. Last night, at karaoke, my badass self emerged and I found myself on the stage flexin' my flow to the sounds of "Nasty Girl" by Nitty. I had originally written down "The Gambler" to sing, but Bridge told me that she was worried people didn't know how gangsta I actually was, and therefore, I should rock the mic. I have to admit--I nailed it. Well, as much a farm kid could nail a song as nuanced and political as "Nasty Girl."

Here are a few choice rhymes from my fave song:

"Must be coffee by the way you shakin' that percolater."

"Last time we sexed, I had her crawlin' like a alligator."

"You talkin' dirty, wanna serve me in the elevator."

"Honey, I gotta lotta money. Would you be my Nasty Girl, and let me do that dirty dance with you."

Note the subtle rhyme scheme, the bold word choice, the "elegantly rendered" (shout out to FAR) description of the dance of love between a woman and a man. Nitty, you speak to my soul.

So, would you? Would you be my Nasty Girl?

Really, have you gotten a better offer?

You Don't Have To Be a Star (Baby) To Be in My Show

I just finished this really deep examination of some feelings that have tripped me up all day, and I was going to post it, but you know what? I just thought, fuck it. I'm OK, you're OK.

God bless the child that got his own, right?

I had an awesome day today. I got to hang out at the coffee shop (and 90% of the reason I go there is to visit with the other regulars, but really 99% of the reason I go there is to just get that coffee shop smell infused into my hair and hooded sweatshirt). I also walked around town for awhile, thinking about this great girl I have who knows all my tricks--namely, angling the alarm so she doesn't see how late it is when I slip in next to her, skin cold.

Like she doesn't know, right?

Then Bridge, Katie and I played about 417 rounds of "Catchphrase" with their folks. I haven't laughed this hard in a long time--well, since the last time I played it with my G-ma and Great Aunt Bernie.

Now it's late and I have hit the jackpot. Time Life Music is promoting the new, "digitally remastered, cinema quality DVD" hits from "The Midnight Special." I am currently rocking out to "Let's Stay Together," "Surrender," "Roll with the Changes" and "You're No Good." Although I will not buy this collection (probably), I will sit here and watch this infomercial for hours.

I'm now going to stick around for more legendary performances, where maybe Bill Withers will tell me that sometimes in our lives, we all need friends. And he will let me lean on him when I am not strong. And Debbie Harry one way or another, she's gonna git me, she's gonna git me git me git me git me. And no, Elton, I don't mind.

Yahtzee, baby.

Men in Trees

Men in cherry pickers were sawing off overhanging branches all up and down my street today. There is now wood carnage all over north Prentis, but that's OK, I guess.

The house two down from us has been inexplicably toilet-papered very recently. And I mean big-time. The culprits must have used a few packs of Charmin double rolls. It's funny to me, but probably not to the people who live there.

My Tibetan prayer flags (!) came yesterday. I strung them up ASAP. We are the only house on our block with Tibetan prayer flags--can you believe it? In fact, we may be the only house in all of Vermtown with these, but that also may be an unfair generalization.

My friend E. is coming to stay for the night and she just called me to report that she has in her possession Clamato juice and Kahlua. I've got the Miller Lite and mixing straws. I love my life.

I'm not sure about Suave's "Radiant Brunette" line of hair care.

I dusted and swept and scrubbed the whole house today! It looks shiny, happy.

My check from the SD Arts Council came in the mail today. I'm going to the bank! (shout out to Royce). This marks my first paying gig as a writer for the poetry reading I gave in November in town. I think I will start telling my friends that I don't appear anywhere anymore for free. I may get lonely.

Today was garbage day in my part of town. I always feel renewed after the men come and pick up all my extra baggage. Like I get to start over every Thursday morning.

I am up for a rousing game of "Catchphrase" tonight.

Anyone?

What One Can Do in Southwest North Dakota

1. Send text messages from the corner of one's basement if standing on one's couch.

2. Go to Super Wal-Mart for one item and then end up standing behind lady who is purchasing 34,000 rolls of discounted wrapping paper.

3. Play pool for free.

4. Pine for luxurious couch left in Vermillion.

5. Play the "I'm gonna get yer rug" game with one's dog.

6. Visit NAPA Auto Parts to say "hey" to one's gang.

7. Wear muk-luks to Christmas Day dinner and have one's Grandma make fun of said footwear.

8. Parade around in one's bridesmaid dress from one's sister's wedding this summer while home alone all day.

Country Woman

Happy Christmas Eve, everyone!

The title of this evening's post comes from a magazine my Mom used to subscribe to. One summer when my sister and I were 10, my mother made us go through her every back issue of Country Woman and cut out the recipes. Her intent was to actually catalogue these hundreds of recipes. I highly doubt that happened. Country Woman was also the type of magazine where grandmothers sent in pictures of their grandbabies sitting atop gargantuan pumpkins. It also had a "kids say the darndest things" section that was subtly religious.

I've been home for a total of 48 hours and here is what I have done so far:

Went mountain lion hunting. A cat has been spotted on our land numerous times now, and I swear I saw it in the north shelter belt this summer (though my dad thinks I saw a deer. Apparently, I cannot tell a deer and a gigantic cat apart). This "hunting" consisted of my dad driving the pickup, my mom next to him shining a spotlight out the open window, my 7 year old cousin in between them convinced the game warden was going to show up (a completely valid concern as this is a highly illegal activity), my dog Rufus in the box having the time of his life, and my aunt and I huddled in the back of the cab for warmth. We did not spot the mountain lion.

Made cookies with my mom. We usually do this sweet tradition and bake about 45 dozen Spritz cookies, but we gave up after one batch. The gun-like apparatus needed to make these cookies was just not working out.

Drank at Mike's Bar--the best damn bar in the world. AND, I saw a fight. OK, more like a lot of posturing and swearing, but still. Ah, home. This kid named Brandon (who I went to school with) got mad at this man named Charlie (who has this abnormal crush on my mother, I think, because when I bartended at Mike's last summer, he kept saying how nice of a lady she was) because Charlie tried to get him to lick a battery to see if the battery was still good or not. This is reason enough to fight in Belfield, ND.

Had a nice moment with my dad. We were out in the old shop and I was digging throug old license plates, and he was telling me the history of plates in Nodak. North Dakota did not require vehicles to carry plates until 1911 and 1943 is an especially hard year to find, since most metal was going toward the war effort.

As I was driving home, through the dips and curves of Southwestern North Dakota, I finally got close enough to pick up 1230 AM, KDIX. I clicked on it just in time to hear the birthday/anniversary/winners of gift certificates names announced and I knew nearly every name.

Welcome home.

Anticipation ...

To-Do List:

Enter final grades: CHECK!
Insurance paper work: CHECK!
Dust house: (I'll do it, god get off my back)
Double-check next semester's book orders: (Wednesday will be my campus day)
Oil Change: (must do! else focus will die by side of road!)


So, I don't know if you heard or whatever, but I recently ordered a new couch. And yeah, that couch comes today. Between 1 and 2:30. No big deal or anything. Just a regular old couch. Taupe. Microfiber. Just your run-of-the-mill couch.

I AM SO FREAKIN' EXCITED ABOUT MY NEW COUCH I CAN HARDLY SIT STILL!