You can't make me ...

... grade midterm portfolios!

You can't, you can't, you can't.

I won't, I won't, I won't.

I wonder what's on clearance at Gordman's ...

In other news, I have to pick out some rockin' lady poems and then am headed up North to see the cutest, most talented, smartest baby in the whole world.

Now I'm So Happy

I could not have asked for a better birthday:

Dancing all night to the best damn band both sides of the Mississippi.

The boys sang me happy birthday and I kissed Nick on the cheek. (I don't think his old lady was around.)

A Beemer-ific CD and card

A gorgeous scarf from Rox

An iTunes certificate from E-Dawg

The Stations of the Cross from Sister Marcella

A tequila shot from Mikey

Cupcakes from J.

The most perfect double DVD ever from Neysa: Footloose AND Flashdance!

A Delphine Red Shirt book (that I've been wanting to read!) from L. and L.

2 absolutely gorgeous custom-made Amy Fill necklaces from my best girl

The arrival of my bff since kindergarten, Jen

Lots of hugs and well-wishes from the local Carey's crowd

SFD telling me I am "an amazing dancer"

Karaoke afterwards at The Eagles

A veggie pizza to top off the night

A turkey bacon and scrambled egg breakfast this morning with Bridge, Erin, and Jen

(I missed my dino friends, though)

*******

Thank you, thank you, thank you for all the birthday wishes, e-mails, and fun!

Thank you, My Best Girl, for giving me a perfect birthday.

27's gonna effin' rock.

A Day in the Life

The things that run through my mind All. The. Time:

Are my gums receding?

Do I have an overactive bladder? (Wouldn't one know if they had an overactive bladder? I mean, would one really have to ask?)

OK, this is the day I will start limiting my carb intake.

Win big! Mama's fallen angel!

Man, I could go for Mexico Viejo right now.

Pleasepleasepleaseplease figure out MLA formatting. Please.

You know, we do make the rockin' world go 'round.

What I should have said when student dude from four semesters ago said that he "knows everything about revision."

What I should have said to old man who asked me to "sauna and drink Icehouse" with him.

What I should have said to English teacher in 8th grade when he lost his temper and screamed that I was "just like my brother."

*****

What about you guys? What sort of inane things take up all the room in your beautiful minds?

This Is How Pumped I Am For Warm Days:

This morn, all by me lonesome, I tried on all my shorts and skirts and summer t-shirts and tops, all in different combinations with different sandals.

I see this green, green grass seeping up (can a thing seep up?) through the melting snow, and the temps are almost, almost balmy, and I am so excited to bike through the summer streets of nighttime I can hardly stand it.

We're in for another winter storm, I hear. March is the snowiest month, I hear. It will be 8 degrees tonight, I hear.

I'm just waiting for something new.

New Shoes

I am going shoe crazy. I've already bought two pairs of new shoes and am on the lookout for a third. (I've been in SuFu for 30 hours).

Shoe Carnival drew me in because of there 1/2 Off! sign, but they were liars.

1/2 Off!*

*only if you buy 16 gazillion other pairs of equal or greater value.

Kohl's got me, cuz, well, they always seem to have shoes on sale, and sure enough, I walked in and "One Day Only Sale!" I bought some super cute strappy sandals to wear with skirts. Especially a certain jean skirt.

(That's right, ladies, it's almost jean skirt season again. You're welcome.)

Then, I bought some hipster flip-flops at Payless, cuz, well, I just effin' love Payless. I will wear them with my cargo shorts this summer.

(Again, you're welcome, ladies.)

(See how much I crave validation? I am so not above giving it to myself.)

What I really, really want is a new pair of coolio brown street shoes. The ones I wear now are just about shot, but I am not willing to spend 60 bucks on Sketchers. I am willing to spend 90 bucks on a really good, super-comf brand, or 20 bucks on Payless shoes.

I know, I know. Listen, I deal with these problems so you don't have to.

I am totally phoning it in this week.

Walk, Downtown

And the green grass grows all around, all around, and the green grass grows all around:


School's Out!:


Do Not Cross:


What's this? A new place in town I can buy unique clothing for me and for children? Sold!:


The best view in town:



****************

My visit with mi madre went wonderfully; I was really happy with the way my reading went; I have the best friends in the whole, wide world.

And this morning at the gym? I forgot I was in public and caught myself singing Janet Jackson's "What Have You Done for Me Lately?" pretty loudly. I was on my last five minutes on the elliptical and needed sumthin to get me through it. You blast this song and try not to sing along.

I dare you.

Mutha!

In case you haven't seen the billboards I've rented all along I-29, I-90, and Highway 50; in case you haven't seen the community annoucement I put on public access TV; in case you missed the skywriting plane that circles over Clay County and writes every half hour; in case you didn't get the chain letter I sent out concerning this:

My mother is coming to town.

Here's how I think we look to the rest of the world:






Oh, here's another conversation topic (besides my hip, non-hetero lifestyle) that's off-limits:

This blog.