First Year Experience

I have an idea for a FYE class. It came to me last night as I was partaking in the Spirit of Vermillion.

We got spirit, yes we do.
We got spirit, how about you,
Gayville? Yankton? Elk Point?

Back to my new FYE class for all incoming freshmen. I think the theme could be something along the lines of "How Not to Make the General Public Shake Their Heads in Disbelief and/or Disgust At You."

Here is what we would cover in HNTMTGPSTHIDAODAT. Perhaps the acronym won't catch on. Whatever. That's not the point.

1. One does not get to grind to any song recorded before 1991. If a Poison song comes on, one will listen respectfully and whip out some wicked awesome air guitar. NO GRINDING.

2. One should not wear a tiara or any t-shirt with subtle or blatant references to genitalia. Leave the Camp Morningwood shirts at home, kids.

3. If one is a female: One should not get to dry hump a pack of one's girlfriends on the dance floor and do all but strip each other down, especially when one's potential instructor, who actually digs girls "in that way" does not feel all that comfortable/safe putting her arm around another woman at, say, cheap movie night, when the theater is filled with these same dry humping girls who will be stopping off at the "Char" for tap beer and an undisclosed STD later that night. This is an issue of fairness. Thank you to K for bringing this to my attention.

4. If one is male: One does not turn a Journey song into a mosh pit. This should really be common knowledge.

5. One needs to really stop yelling, "Freebird."

I think these 5 threads should be enough to cover the entire semester.