You're sick of me, it's the November slump,

I get it.

Right, but please don't sit in the back and nod vigorously when I ask, for the billionth time, "is everyone clear on my expectations for this essay?" and then come to class the next week with a paper about a whacky topic that's about a million miles away from the essay overview, helpful hints handout, structure handout, and another helpful hints handout I gave you and read aloud to you last week.

And, please, don't make me ask you to get off of Facebook more than once a semester, much less more than once a class period. I came dangerously close to hurling swear words, and I really don't want to do that.

And last time, your papers weren't so good, and this time, when I left half the class time open for in-class research and one-on-one feedback from me, you decided to leave. Really? You really care that little about your education?

And this isn't an introductory class, right? So, I shouldn't have to ask "where's your thesis?", and I shouldn't have to ask you to proofread a paper before you turn it into me, and I shouldn't have to remind you that a Works Cited page is essential if you are using outside research. Which you are.

And please recognize the importance of a peer review workshop. You "work better alone"? No, you don't. You "don't get" peer review? Fair enough. I "don't get" your choice of shirts.

And please take advantage of my office hours. I will help you.

And don't tell me you want to write about an "easy" topic" because you hate writing and you're just "too busy living, man." Because I have a hard time controlling my sarcasm. And I can be biting.

And don't wordlessly hand me your laptop to show me how broken it is and how the cord is ripped and how your dog chewed it and how a new battery is on it's way and how you don't know what happened and how you have no idea what a jump drive is.

And don't don't don't tell me you're not voting because you don't care. You are the future? I am so so so worried.

Please give me reasons not to be worried.