Things I Learned Today

1. The current Miss USA, Miss Universe, and Miss Teen USA all live together in an apartment in New York. Source: Inside Edition.

2. I can indeed get work done at the Coffee Shop Gallery. I knocked out 14 final portfolios today, bizzo.

3. David Letterman is still the funniest man on TV. Tonight's Top 10 List: Least shopped at stores in the mall. No. 6: The Burlington Coat Factory.

4. The woman who usually takes my order and the man who occasionally takes my order at Mexico Viejo are married!

5. We have a huge boarder problem. Snowboarders, people who are renting rooms out from homeowners, all of it. We need tougher boarder patrol. Duh.

6. Jewel is apparently back. (?) And her teeth are still jacked.

7. I need to stop getting angry at the punk who insists on parking his car directly in front of my house because there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.

8. "High School Musical" really does live up to the hype. Seriously.

9. Lifting twenty pound free weights in creative ways while lying down in front of the TV does not so much constitute a "workout."

10. I feel bad for Subway Jared.

11. I am happy.

12. I am now considered a full time state employee. This means I get the state rate at hotels. Best believe I'll be taking advantage of that.

13. The opening to "Daydream Believer" on the piano.

14. There is an alternate dimension overlapping ours, or perhaps, created by our subconscious. This dimension can only be tapped into under the influence of shrooms.

15. I just blew my mind.

it went like this today

... and the men at the coffee shop are just about too much to take. every day, they are there. doing nothing. talking about nothing. they stage whisper sexist jokes. a waitress walks by and they paw her with clunky banter. one has a camera, and this somehow makes him an alpha. he points this camera all over the shop, flash popping, shutter clicking. it's bristling and so much i would like to man handle that camera and that man, like a pissed off sean penn kicking some paparazzo ass.

and rain fell a few nights ago, coating the streets in a slick layer of thin ice. and i felt like a kid again, gaining speed, throwing up both hands for balance, and gauging how long i can slip and slide my way home. the sun and easy temps today took care of most of the ice, except for a few patches on shaded sidewalk.

and i get distracted easily, ducking into shops all along main street, looking for ways to warm up and blow a few bucks at the same time. rented a few movies. down on one knee in the used book exchange, nose pressed close to the must of old books, debating whether or not i can spend 7 dollars on a million little pieces. even though i know it's fraud, i want to read it so badly, but i feel as though i would have to stop people on the street and say, yes, i know he made this up, but i just couldn't help myself. then ee cummings' 95 poems fell against my palm and i want, like his poem, i want to carry his words with me, i carry them in my words, the same way he carries your heart (he carries it in his heart).

and walking home, two pretty women i know waved at me. i smiled big and waved back. things like that make this town home. i wanted to chase after those women, ask them where they are going and what were they doing and can we all do it together?

and dinner tonight was chicken and pasta, bubbled in a garlicky sauce and sprinkled with green-can parmesan cheese. and it was delicious and will help the girl rock her insect biology final. the kitchen is clean and soapy, and the painted walls look like a northern sunrise, streaky gold and warm to the touch.

and tomorrow morning we get to sleep in ...

Waitin' for my jeans to dry ...

Last night, as I was standing on a folding chair peeling off the painter's tape in the kitchen, Bridge was at the table studying for her Conservation Biology final.

Bridge: Convservation biology is so weird!

Me: Oh yeah?

Bridge: Yeah, like some days, it's just so hopeless. Like we are doing nothing right. And then some days, I feel like I can single-handedly save the world!

Me: Oh sweetie!

********

A Poem Written on my Magnetic Poetry Board

america
like rain or sun & luck
beside my girl
I am tan & ecstatic
like a pair of
popsicles
slipped into a hot mouth

********

I am headed to the Coffee Shop for the day. Come join me!

2nd Warmest December in History

At a quarter to five this morning, I found myself walking the streets of Vermillion. Before you think, "how nice! She gets up and walks every morning. What fab therapy," I must state that I was coming home, clickety-clacking in my ridiculous, fake, drunk, cowboy boots.

A recap: Last night was the annual USD English Department Christmas Potluck. I ate smokies and artichoke dip and trifles and green bean casserole and cheese and bacon wrapped around things and brownies. I drank beer. Lots o' beer. It was an awesome time, and the first department party I have been to. When I was a student here, I had a bit of a hard time finding out where I fit in. But now, older, more confident, and as an intructor, I am having the time of my life. Last night, sitting at a table with men and women I consider fantastic friends, I thought, "this is so nice. How lucky for me to be here."

So, the night went on, first at L's hip apartment where she presented me a mug full of cranberry juice and vodka. Think of a water dish for, say, a Great Dane. That was the size of the mug L. gave me. Basically, it was marvelous. We all then trucked over to the official afterparty and laughed and played tambourine and drank and smoked. I also recall eating some cold, gourmet Macaroni and Cheese out of a large tinfoil pan. It was pretty much a perfect night. Some of us ended up back at L's for a now pre-dawn cap. I could have fallen asleep on her futon for hours, but finally, I had to rouse myself and walk home.

And that's how I ended up on the streets at 4:45 am. I'm too old for this.

Ugh. And then 8:00 this morning came. And Bridge and I loaded up a trailer full of house remodeling junk and hauled it to the landfill.

I wanted to die.

It got to be a less traumatic day, though. The tropical tempertures here today got me motivated. Delicious lunch at Chae's (their cashew chicken will cure anything), and then I headed to Yankton to do some final shopping for the house. I bought some towels and another bookcase. I was about to leave Yankton when I thought I better check out the downtown antique stores. I got some pretty cool stuff to put on the walls of my office. I get that from my dad--the antique thing. Love me, love my penchant for rusty Dakota license plates from the 1960s.

I'm pretty excited about it.

I cannot wait for tomorrow. I am painting (!) the kitchen. Thai Gold. What do you think? It's pretty f-ing yellow! Also, I am cleaning up the back room and turning it into my writing/grading office. Slowly and steadily, this house is turning into a reflection of our lives.

That's really an amazing thing to watch unfold.

I Talk Too Much

Things I've Said to People I Love:

I hate you.

I would leave you for Patrick Swayze in a heartbeat.

I love you.

10 days with you are too much.

Why are you so far away?

I'm cold because you don't love me.

Can I borrow your boots?

Are you buying?

I want you to be gone when I get back.

Is that what you are wearing?

You are stuck with me.

Enough with the ukelele.

I swear to God, I will smack you.

Where should we put the piano?

Don't go.

I'm sorry.

Things I've Said to People I Hate:

Hello!

How are you?

I really enjoyed your presentation/lecture/speech/poetry.

So, what have you been up to?

I hope things are going well for you.

Congratulations.

Depressing IQ Test

I just took this stupid IQ test. Now I am depressed, but not surprised ...

Your IQ Is 105

Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius Your Mathematical Intelligence is Average Your General Knowledge is Exceptional

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

By the Number

1. One Love. I have a crush on everyone I work with. We have a ridiculous amount of inappropriate fun.

2. Hugh Jackman/Wolverine can wear a wife-beater and a sweatshirt jacket like nobody else. Grrr ...

3. Day three in the new house. I'm so in love with our living room, kitchen, and bathroom it's not even funny.

4. I may (!) get health insurance next semester. And teach four sections of various English classes.

5. Five living plants in our house. Keep 'em coming.

6. Six(teen) wine coolers A. and M. brought over for soup and bread last night. Talk about pure class!

7. 204 books in my living room. Heaven.

8. The number of Chinese words I was taught today by Chih-Mei, one of my international students: Ni-how. Hello ...

9. Drive by the house on the Nine(teenth). If the lights are on, come in and sit with me on my new couch.