You're sick of me, it's the November slump,

I get it.

Right, but please don't sit in the back and nod vigorously when I ask, for the billionth time, "is everyone clear on my expectations for this essay?" and then come to class the next week with a paper about a whacky topic that's about a million miles away from the essay overview, helpful hints handout, structure handout, and another helpful hints handout I gave you and read aloud to you last week.

And, please, don't make me ask you to get off of Facebook more than once a semester, much less more than once a class period. I came dangerously close to hurling swear words, and I really don't want to do that.

And last time, your papers weren't so good, and this time, when I left half the class time open for in-class research and one-on-one feedback from me, you decided to leave. Really? You really care that little about your education?

And this isn't an introductory class, right? So, I shouldn't have to ask "where's your thesis?", and I shouldn't have to ask you to proofread a paper before you turn it into me, and I shouldn't have to remind you that a Works Cited page is essential if you are using outside research. Which you are.

And please recognize the importance of a peer review workshop. You "work better alone"? No, you don't. You "don't get" peer review? Fair enough. I "don't get" your choice of shirts.

And please take advantage of my office hours. I will help you.

And don't tell me you want to write about an "easy" topic" because you hate writing and you're just "too busy living, man." Because I have a hard time controlling my sarcasm. And I can be biting.

And don't wordlessly hand me your laptop to show me how broken it is and how the cord is ripped and how your dog chewed it and how a new battery is on it's way and how you don't know what happened and how you have no idea what a jump drive is.

And don't don't don't tell me you're not voting because you don't care. You are the future? I am so so so worried.

Please give me reasons not to be worried.

You Have to See This!

I don't know if you've heard or whatever, but I have a nephew and his name is Sam.

Sam turns 1 soon, and this is the "Save the Date" sent out by his parents:

Sam's Bday


How awesome is that?

In honor of a good class and a good weekend and a good life:

I like people and their smiles.

B and I went halfsies on a super-awesome vacuum, and now she thinks we're engaged.

Wide Open Spaces

I am a little bit anxious that these bright, wide-open, clear skies won't last much longer. That soon it will be overcast and gray and snowbanked.

I was at a creative reading about a month ago and among all the gorgeous words, one man got up and read from his book, which was about night, or darkness, maybe, in South Dakota. He read that he didn't get to see the Northern Lights very often from his home in Southeast South Dakota, and that when he has seen them, he's just been in awe.

I sat in the audience feeling smug, as North Dakotans often feel, since, as anyone would tell you, I'm sure, we're smarter, more practical, more hardworking, and able to take the cold better than anyone else in the entire world. Yes?

So, I sat there feeling smug. I get to see the Northern Lights all the time. I grew up with them. Our farm is about 2 miles off of old Highway 10, and before you reach our place, you have to crest a big hill. How many times we've breached the hill and been met by sheets of flickering pink, purple, green, blue, I can't even tell you.

My dad used to have his telescope set up on the porch of our trailer and he kept it up all summer long. When the stars or the planets or the comets or the moon were doing something spectacular, he would wake all of kids up and herd us outside. We'd take turns looking through the telescope, squinting. Sometimes it was 4 in the morning; sometimes it was midnight. All the time, though, it was my favorite.

Living here, now, I don't get to see the Northern Lights, and I didn't even realize I missed them before I heard that man's story. I still feel smug, though, or maybe privileged should be the word I use, that I've seen the sky in all her blue-blacked, purpled, pulsing glory.

An Offer I May Not Be Able to Refuse

This came to my e-mail this morning with the subject line "You have interested me!"

Hello!!!
My name is Elena!
You have interested me! You beautiful the man and I shall be very glad to communicate with you and to learn a lot of new about you!
I love productive leisure, I like to go in for sports, I like is tasty
To prepare, and cheerfully to spend time.
If you will become interested in me and I shall receive the return answer from you I shall tell to you more about myself and I shall send you new photos!

My personal Email: sladko.elena@gmail.com

I very much wait the answer from you!
Sincerely yours Elena.

I, too, like to go in for sports, and cheerfully spend time. This may be a match made in the heavens.

Oh, and there was a photo included. I ain't lyin':



I bet I have interested you, Elena, you little minx, you.

See Ya, September, Wouldn't Wanna Be Ya

I am done.

The creative writing is camp is done.

The NoDak wedding is over with.

My tan lines are still in full force.

I handed back their major essays.

September is over, praise the Lord and pass the ammunition.

Two more days of teaching this week, then mayhaps a trip to the big cities. B and I may get to actually talk to each other now. We might be in the same room for more than 17 seconds now. We might actually remember why we like each other so much.