In Fargo tonight,
headed home tomorrow!
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Sunday, June 22, 2008
they are in the gd door...
a few weeks ago, i swung open the garage door and i saw a garter snake tail flicker, and thought, oh great, a snake is in the garage, so i left the big garage door open a bit so it could get out.
i didn't see anything for a bit, so ok. awesome. except not awesome, because as i discovered yesterday, the snakes are living in the mother. fucking. door. a door i use regularly.
SNAKES ARE LIVING IN THE DOOR.
and ok, i know they are harmless snakes but they are in my goddamn door, and they're fucking creepy, and so today, i took an arsenal of various garden tools and pounded on the door until 2 snakes dropped out, and i tried to kill them, and i tried to do this by cutting them in half with a hoe, but their skin is, like, really tough, plus, they really don't want to die, and keep in in mind i am in flip-flops, short shorts, a tee shirt, and no bra, and i am pounding on these snakes and b is watching from the kitchen window horrified, and i finally killed them, and it was a massacre, and i hate, hate, hate snakes and am THIS MUCH scared of them.
and, i know there are more snakes in the door. but i am so creeped out right now. i am traumatized, and i feel bad that i killed them, because i don't want to kill things, but they do not get to have a nest in my door. that is unfair!
i just want to throw up.
i didn't see anything for a bit, so ok. awesome. except not awesome, because as i discovered yesterday, the snakes are living in the mother. fucking. door. a door i use regularly.
SNAKES ARE LIVING IN THE DOOR.
and ok, i know they are harmless snakes but they are in my goddamn door, and they're fucking creepy, and so today, i took an arsenal of various garden tools and pounded on the door until 2 snakes dropped out, and i tried to kill them, and i tried to do this by cutting them in half with a hoe, but their skin is, like, really tough, plus, they really don't want to die, and keep in in mind i am in flip-flops, short shorts, a tee shirt, and no bra, and i am pounding on these snakes and b is watching from the kitchen window horrified, and i finally killed them, and it was a massacre, and i hate, hate, hate snakes and am THIS MUCH scared of them.
and, i know there are more snakes in the door. but i am so creeped out right now. i am traumatized, and i feel bad that i killed them, because i don't want to kill things, but they do not get to have a nest in my door. that is unfair!
i just want to throw up.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Why I Love Summer
******
The whole crew of Blockheads came over last night, and we gorged ourselves on badminton, fire, Capri Suns, and Smores.
It was perfect.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
I was convinced
that yesterday was Father's Day, so I called my dad and wished him a Happy Father's Day and he was like, "Thank you!"
We both don't have a clue.
In other news, I have these red mesh Iowa State football shorts, which I LOVE, and wear mostly when I am working out in some form, but B calls them my "chastity shorts."
I also bought some new cargo shorts, which I so far dig, but realized they have back pockets like you'd see on some old man pair of Dockers. Like I probably have a handkerchief, or my bifocals, or some hard candy back there.
Further proof I am living my 1992 life? C+C Music Factory blared all afternoon at the pool. "Everybody dance now!"
Now, I think I'm off for a bike ride and then to the chlorinated water.
We both don't have a clue.
In other news, I have these red mesh Iowa State football shorts, which I LOVE, and wear mostly when I am working out in some form, but B calls them my "chastity shorts."
I also bought some new cargo shorts, which I so far dig, but realized they have back pockets like you'd see on some old man pair of Dockers. Like I probably have a handkerchief, or my bifocals, or some hard candy back there.
Further proof I am living my 1992 life? C+C Music Factory blared all afternoon at the pool. "Everybody dance now!"
Now, I think I'm off for a bike ride and then to the chlorinated water.
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Rainy Day Woman #4 (or something)
Yesterday at the pool, a hyperactive preschooler by the name of Sofie decided I was her new BFF.
I am headed to F to the GO for a bachelorette party this weekend for my future sister-in-law. I am happy to see my friends and family. I am not so happy to meet others. I'll be nice and stop there.
I need some Spanx.
My farmer's tan? Almost non-existent, ya'll.
One of my real BFFs, Jen, is coming today! We're going to rule downtown, probably. When Jen was in the 1st or 2nd grade, she wore overalls for school picture day or something, and her older brothers called her "Jenitor." So, that's her name.
I bought a new recliner, and I already have the stripey pillow for, and it will be here next week. I bought it last week, on a complete impulse, and wanted it in my home, like, 3 weeks ago, but Slumberland was this totally wacky delivery sched.
OK, I just realized I sound like a flippin' 13 year old.
I am headed to F to the GO for a bachelorette party this weekend for my future sister-in-law. I am happy to see my friends and family. I am not so happy to meet others. I'll be nice and stop there.
I need some Spanx.
My farmer's tan? Almost non-existent, ya'll.
One of my real BFFs, Jen, is coming today! We're going to rule downtown, probably. When Jen was in the 1st or 2nd grade, she wore overalls for school picture day or something, and her older brothers called her "Jenitor." So, that's her name.
I bought a new recliner, and I already have the stripey pillow for, and it will be here next week. I bought it last week, on a complete impulse, and wanted it in my home, like, 3 weeks ago, but Slumberland was this totally wacky delivery sched.
OK, I just realized I sound like a flippin' 13 year old.
Monday, June 02, 2008
Can You Believe It's June Already?
I have completely reverted to my 11 year old self.
I bike to the pool at 12:55 pm. Then I bike home at 5 pm, a soaked towel swung over my neck. Then I eat dinner. Then I bike around town. Then I go to bed.
In other news, I am pretty sure I have Lyme disease.
My neck is achy and I am fatigued. I am going to look it up on Google and WebMD.
Bridge: I bet if you googled "achy neck" Wii Boxing would come up.
Me: I admit, I boxed a little vigorously.
Bridge: Go to the doctor! You have health insurance!
Me: That doesn't mean I should squander it.
After dinner at Charlie's Pizza, driving past the duck/goose pond in Yankerville:
Me: I would have a goose instead of an attack dog. Man, you do not cross a goose. Those are mean mother-effers.
Bridge: But how would you stay safe from your goose?
Me: Well, it would be mine. It would know and love me. I would raise my attack goose.
I bike to the pool at 12:55 pm. Then I bike home at 5 pm, a soaked towel swung over my neck. Then I eat dinner. Then I bike around town. Then I go to bed.
In other news, I am pretty sure I have Lyme disease.
My neck is achy and I am fatigued. I am going to look it up on Google and WebMD.
Bridge: I bet if you googled "achy neck" Wii Boxing would come up.
Me: I admit, I boxed a little vigorously.
Bridge: Go to the doctor! You have health insurance!
Me: That doesn't mean I should squander it.
After dinner at Charlie's Pizza, driving past the duck/goose pond in Yankerville:
Me: I would have a goose instead of an attack dog. Man, you do not cross a goose. Those are mean mother-effers.
Bridge: But how would you stay safe from your goose?
Me: Well, it would be mine. It would know and love me. I would raise my attack goose.
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