the best laid plans

i woke early this morning. the bright white blowing around outdoors streams through the windows, and i can't be lulled back to sleep. this morning, Boyz II Men's, "The End of the Road" was in my head. i can't remember the last time i heard that song. i wonder what happens at night for this to be the way i wake up.

my on-campus interviewed? postponed. the drive i shoveled yesterday? drifted over with snow. the coffee shop? probably closed again.

i'm so tired of this. this icy landscape, the dirty gray sky. winter has been pushy, aggressive. i want to fight back.

spring break. right.

i just callled my mom at work to see what's going down in NoDak--cold, wind, snow. my folks drove up to Williston last night to pick my Grandma and Great-Aunt Bernie, or, as I like to call them, Thelma and Louise. Bernie and Grandma just got back from a 45-day train trip all through the west coast to see my uncles and families. i hear they've got lots of funny stories; i better call them.

my brother is down in Georgia right now, and he answered his cell with no, the tornadoes didn't kill me. he just graduated on Thursday from more National Guard training. he has been out in the field, in the stickiness of Georgia for the past months. he's leaving today for DC, and is going to Walter Reed to see some soldiers injured in Iraq.

lots of visitors at our door last night. conversation and beers in between the power flickering on and off. candles lit.

tonight, i am going to forget the lack of power, the bright cold, and the relentless wind. i am going to wash my hair and put on lipstick. then, i am going to walk up to the bar and order tall vodka cranberries. i will carry them to the back room, set them down, and take my place on the dance floor. and i will not leave until well after midnight. i will dance, dance, dance. polka, two-step, everything.

i just wanna dance with you.