For Those of You about to Rock, I Salute You

Best. Weekend. Ever.

Small, intimate get-togethers, walks to the river, bike rides, sun and sky, dancing all night, badminton in the backyard, yardwork.

Lots of fun this weekend.

I have been grading research portfolios all day:

Sundays at the Office are sooo hard.

Here are the comments I have been writing most often all over my student's essays. And, in italics, is what I would like to write:

"Awkward and confusing. What are you trying to say?
I know English is your first language. I am certain of it.

"OK, so what does the sexual maturation of girls in Puerto Rico have to do with your topic concerning the cattle industry in America?"
WTF??

"Proofread, please."
I think, perhaps, you are dyslexic.

"Covering JFK's childhood, political career, and the conspiracy theories surrounding his assassination is too much for a six page paper."
I think we should probably go to the CIA with your ground-breaking investigation here.

"Unpack this quotation. What are the implications of this?"
I would like to see your high school diploma. I need proof.

"Avoid "you." You should not still be making this mistake."
Why do you hate me? Do we not have fun in class?

"Please look at p. 234 in your Harbrace for more guidance on a works cited page. Also, we have built a works cited page numeous times in class and in your conference."
For the love of God, learn how to do a freakin' Works Cited page!

"Introduce this source. Remember that handout I passed out in class, put up on the overhead, read outloud, and we all talked about it for at least an hour? Look at that. It will help you."
I should have early alerted your ass.

Really, though, it's not so bad. True, I've been a little disappointed by the papers, but I get it. It's their first real crack at a research paper, and most of them have been out of school for awhile, so we'll keep hacking away at it.

Three. More. Weeks. I can see the light, Lord, I can see the light.

And finally, here is my latest, greatest purchase:

My new bike. Because I love my new bike so very much.