What it Would Be Like Married to Me

Apologies to everyone who called this weekend and heard no response from me. L & L, I hope Jones Street was totally gay. We would still love to go again. Anarcia, thank you for the invite to Sioux Falls. I hope you had a lovely dinner.

I've been down and out. And disappointed. And just wanted to get away from Vermillion, so Bridge and I headed west. A little antique browsing, a movie, goodwill shopping, an art opening by the ultra talented artist. After the show, Happy Hour over in Gayville at S and J's hip pad.

We rolled back into town on Saturday evening, fell into bed, and didn't wake until Sunday morning. I've been staving off a migraine. And I think I am winning.

In case you get the wrong impression of me--in case I seem like a brute and a control freak and bound by rules--here's what it would be like married to me:

I would put you on my health insurance because I am able to do so.
I would mow the lawn and clean the bathroom.
I would cook dinner at least 3 nights a week.
I would plant perennials with your mother and keep my mouth shut when your father talks politics.
I would move across states with you.
I would want to have kids with you.
I would let you know how much you inspire me every day.
I would support you because I got lucky and have a job that allows me to do so.
I would dig a soil plot so you can have a garden.
I would get rid of all the spiders.

Please don't get me wrong. I am flawed in many, many ways. I have a temper I am not proud of, and I am cowardly in a nearly unforgivable way. But, if I married you, this is what it would be like.