What I Did on My Summer Vacation

I did some mowing, hauled some branches, cleaned out a few shops on the farm and then hung out all week with a 3 yr old, a 4 yr old, a 5 yr old, a 6 yr old, a 7 yr old who turned 8, a 9 yr old, and a 10 yr old:


I don't even like kids that much. (I love 'em.)


My dog, Rufus, and I also went for lots of Jeep rides all over the countryside:



We saw two white-tail bucks that Rufus chased each time. While Rufus is pretty fast and fearless, he didn't have a chance. The bucks would watch him zigzag through the prairie, let him get about 50 yards away, and then bound off. They smoked poor Rufus.

I had an awesome, awesome time in North Dakota. We went to the pool, the lake, Harry Potter. Super-duper fun.

Conversations:

At the weekly Belfield community grill-out, where my dad asks a neighbor about rain.

Dad: Ray, how much rain did you get the oher night?
Ray: An inch and a quarter.
Dad: Huh. We got 65 hundredths. Man, you people up north get everything: more rain, more land, more sex.
Me, to my mom: Aaaand, I am gone.
Mom: I'm right behind you.

At the lake, I made my 8 yr old cousin Tucker strap on his life jacket and swim way out with me.

Tuck: Lindy, are there sharks in here?
Me: Sharks? Nah. You have to watch out for the octopus, though.
Tuck: Nuh-uh! Really?
Me: And the giant squid.
Tuck: Giant squid! Oh, man!

And later in the lake, I am once again explaining to Tucker how he and I are related while 10 yr old Trevor is swimming with us.

Me: Tucker, your mom and my mom are sisters. Your mom is my mom's youngest sister.
Trev: Yeah, you moron.
Me: Just like you are Trevor's youngest sister.
Trev (laughing): Yeah!
Tuck (matter of factly): Trevor, I am not your sister. I am your brother.
Me: Oh, that's right.

And to round the week off, we had a big cook-out at the farm and ended the evening with fireworks. For the big grand finale, I had this awesome reloader and the first two went off beautifully. Then I put the third firework in the tube.

Me: Dad, it's stuck.
Dad: Just light it.
Me: Um, yeah, but if it's stuck, don't you think it will--
Dad: Just light it.
Me: Okay...

So, you know those great fireworks that fill the sky and bloom and flower out, and then at the ends, they pop some more? Picture that fifty feet in front of you on the ground.

The smoke cleared and my family uncurled from the duck and cover position:

Me: Ta daa!!