Walker, Dakota Hipster

(So, I secretly aspire to be a hipster, but I am always just a step behind).

I walked a lot this past Sunday: down to the river and home, to campus and home, to L.'s for L Word night and home. When I am walking, I need music, so I always pack up my "iPod." Actually, it's a bona fide discman circa 1997. It's the size of my face. I won this technological wonder at my After Prom party Junior year. It's got electronic skip protection, so you know it's good.

I like to pop in one of my famous burnt CD's (with all the Hot New Artists like Linda Ronstadt, Willie Nelson, A-Ha, Journey, and REO Speedwagon) and be on my way. I also like to sing along to the songs, but I realize this looks (and sounds) pretty weird, so I try to sing along in a stealthy manner. Like, I barely move my lips, and sometimes, I'll pause a song and keep singing just to make sure I'm not too loud.

Pretty sure I am not fooling anyone.

This is why I like to go along the bike path at the river--usually no one is down there and I can sing and bust a move all I want. I like to pretend I'm in a music video, and the wind is blowing my orange vest and I'm walking like Tony Manero and I more than likely singing a Meatloaf or Cher song:

Oh, you took the words right outta my mouth.
It must have been while you were kissing me.

or

If you can give it, I can take it.
Cuz if this heart is gonna break, it's gonna take
a lot to break it.
You're gonna go down in flames,
just like Jesse James.

Or maybe their classic duet together: something about being all revved up. And having no place to go.

This is why I will never be a hipster.

OK, and this is off-topic, but I really love these students who come in my office and ask, "are we doing anything today?" Um, no. It's a 3 hour class that meets once a week. We are going to stare at the wall for an hour and 15 minutes, take a 10 minute break, then resume staring at the wall. Or, of you like, the carpet. Your choice.



I also really love these students who come in an hour before their midterm portfolios are due (which was assigned BEFORE Spring Break, meaning they have known about it and have had 2 weeks to work on them) and say their computers "broke" and they don't have their sources.

I don't even know what that means.

Spring Broke

I have a new favorite band.

cha cha cha

They rock my world.

cha cha cha

Vermillion's own Poker Alice played last night at Carey's, and I haven't done that much foot-stomping, up-beat clapping, and knee-slapping since the last time I was at a North Dakota wedding dance. Dance, dance revolution, folks. I better teach all my dancing partners to Sweetheart Polka with me. Then we can really show up all those jitterbuggers.

An after-party at L.'s, complete with Doritos, dates, and more fun drama than we could all process. My left hand is a bit clawed up from a sleek, feral animal that resides with L. (ahem, I'm just saying, I think the city should know you are housing a mountain lion).

I've been down to the river lots this Spring Break, and have spent much time looking into the bright sky for the geese. I can hear them; I just always can't see them. I've also been running my hands over the graffitti underneath the bridge, thinking of how I will leave my mark. Today, as Jackson and I walked to the dog park, we passed two little girls on the bike path. They were in shorts and tank tops. Both were in their bare feet, splashing in a puddle that was snow hours earlier.

As I passed them, I said, girls, aren't you freezing?

Nooo! they sang back.

Spring Fever.

Together, Jackson and I have logged over 12 miles these past three days. It's been so beautiful out, we don't notice the distance until we've looped the river and are on our way back again. He's a good dog, just not the best on a leash. He sees a squirrel and flips. OK, understandable. He hears the wind rustle some leaves and flips. Seriously, Jackson? Sometimes I laugh though; a squirrel will just about hop over him, and he's so busy sniffing the ground he doesn't even notice. If Jackson knew my squinty, half-deaf powers of observation were better than his, he'd be totally embarassed.

As Jackson's stay here is winding down, this photo probably sums up the way we all feel about each other:



One last thing to report: got my taxes done this week. This is the first year I've actually put in a full 12 months of work. Momma's gettin' a refund, baby! So, when you see me zoom around town in my new Vespa (probably a pearly green), just know she works hard for the money.



Ciao, signorinella!

Life with Jackson

Bridge and I are watching a friend's dog for the rest of the week and so far, things have been interesting. Jackson is an adorable, bounding Lab mix. Bridge is an adorable, guitar-picking Irish/German mix. I wear an orange vest.

I imagine this is what went through Jackson's mind as he began his stay at Hotel Prentis.

4:15 pm: Um, ok.
4:18 pm: I'll just keep sniffing.
4:45 pm: Cool. Well, I better be off soon. I bet my mom misses me.
5:00 pm: Seriously, what did you do with my mom? This isn't cool anymore.
5:03 pm: Damn squirrels.
5:10 pm: Brrr ... it's freaking cold out here, man!
5:25 pm: Wait, wait ... I just was outside!
5:26 pm: You guys blow.
6:00 pm: My green pillow is looking kinda hot.
6:03 pm: I think my green pillow wants me.
6:06 pm: I'm totally nailing my green pillow. Yowza!
6:07 pm: Can't a brother get it on without the peep show?
6:08 pm: Stop yelling! I'm tryin to do something here!
6:10 pm: Sleepy ...
7:55 pm: I'll just show myself out ...
8:00 pm: So, let me get this straight. I'm stuck here? For like, how long?
8:10 pm: I'll just eat my pain.
9:00 pm: Fine.
9:55 pm: Oh, green pillow, I love you. Zzz ...

So, that was Jackson's first day with us. Tomorrow after lunch, I am walking him down to the river and will let him run wild. He's such a handsome guy. I hope he likes it here; I know he misses L., but Bridge has already been so good to him.

But then, she's always had a soft spot for bounding, thick-haired mixes.

Can I Get An Amen?

Often get shut down as fast as 1-29.

So, no dancing. Instead, here are some things I did yesterday that are much better than wallowing in self-pity:

1. Bought citrus scented shampoo at Pamida. It's infused with Vitamin C and, at least for 15 minutes in the shower, it feels like sunshine.

2. Bought super stuffed microfiber bed pillows at Pamida. Why haven't I done this sooner?

3. Bought new, bronze-y clock at Pamida for the bathroom.

4. Spent $44 at Pamida. Hell has indeed frozen over.

5. Bought chocolate licorice.

6. Bought dollar scratch-off tickets in the hopes that I can quit working and live the high roller life.

7. Won three bucks from scratch-off tickets. Not living like a high roller yet, but the winds of change are a'blowin'.

8. Watched Berkowitz lose it in the candy aisle at Jones. (And by "lose it," I mean, watching her tear the wrapping off a Peeps package (before actually purchasing the Peeps) and devour an entire row of helpless, sugary baby chicks in minutes.)

9. Rented Walk the Line again. I have fantasies of singing, "It Ain't Me, Babe" to an adoring crowd during karaoke at The Eagles. I bet Kelsey would be my June Carter.

10. Ventured downtown.

11. Drank glasses of Leinie's and Boulevard while getting my ass kicked in pool.

12. Honed my air guitar skillz.

13. Ate potato soup, complete with a Mr. Smith's baguette.

14. Decided that, for sure, I am going to write a memoir and the first word will be "scoria."

15. Worried for a few seconds that this pattern of blowing money at the first sign of potential boredom is my Achilles' heel.

16. Then realized I Did. Not. Care.

the best laid plans

i woke early this morning. the bright white blowing around outdoors streams through the windows, and i can't be lulled back to sleep. this morning, Boyz II Men's, "The End of the Road" was in my head. i can't remember the last time i heard that song. i wonder what happens at night for this to be the way i wake up.

my on-campus interviewed? postponed. the drive i shoveled yesterday? drifted over with snow. the coffee shop? probably closed again.

i'm so tired of this. this icy landscape, the dirty gray sky. winter has been pushy, aggressive. i want to fight back.

spring break. right.

i just callled my mom at work to see what's going down in NoDak--cold, wind, snow. my folks drove up to Williston last night to pick my Grandma and Great-Aunt Bernie, or, as I like to call them, Thelma and Louise. Bernie and Grandma just got back from a 45-day train trip all through the west coast to see my uncles and families. i hear they've got lots of funny stories; i better call them.

my brother is down in Georgia right now, and he answered his cell with no, the tornadoes didn't kill me. he just graduated on Thursday from more National Guard training. he has been out in the field, in the stickiness of Georgia for the past months. he's leaving today for DC, and is going to Walter Reed to see some soldiers injured in Iraq.

lots of visitors at our door last night. conversation and beers in between the power flickering on and off. candles lit.

tonight, i am going to forget the lack of power, the bright cold, and the relentless wind. i am going to wash my hair and put on lipstick. then, i am going to walk up to the bar and order tall vodka cranberries. i will carry them to the back room, set them down, and take my place on the dance floor. and i will not leave until well after midnight. i will dance, dance, dance. polka, two-step, everything.

i just wanna dance with you.

Throw Marcia's Computer off the Roof! 5 Bucks!

After a helluva day yesterday (two 3-hour classes, 5 conferences with students, and an observation by my Boss Lady), today was a Good Day.

The radio on the drive today was good to me. Here's a guessing game:

How Many of the Following Lyrics are from Country Songs?

"Your love ain't just the hot sauce, it's the whole enchilada."

"The weekend's here and it's paycheck Friday, people, let's get drunk and be somebody!"

"And I'll hang around as long as you let me ... and I don't mind standing in the rain."

Answer: C'mon now. You know the answer.

So, the Utility Bill came today? And, it was, like, almost a hunnert dollars? And I was like, ouch, muthafuckas? So, now I am sitting in my 64 degree living room to combat big bills. I am 2 seconds from buckling. Must ... have ... 68 ... degrees ...

I'm the littlest bit drunk because it's Tuesday. And on Tuesdays, me, Bridge, Annie, & Marcia head to Pro's for delicious Coyote Chips. Since we meet all the other Senior Citizens for the Early Bird Special, tap beers are a buck. Hellz to the yeah. Over dinner, we found out that Microsoft Sam does not recognize Missy Elliot's "cho-cha."

Go figure.

Tomorrow begins Phase One of my interview process for the SuFu position. I am meeting with EH for a chat. Well, EH keeps calling it a chat and CE keeps calling it an interview. I think I will call it, "please stop because my tiny veins can't take this extreme nervousness anymore." Marcia says I need to dress up (the iron is heating up), and Annie says I should show up drunk. Thanks a lot, Annie.

And, I don't wanna brag or anything, but I have a state fleet in my driveway (a Taurus, that's right), so if anyone wants to go cruise Main, let me know.

And you don't have to call me darlin', Darlin'. You never even call me by my name.